Day 15 (Stardate 52075.5)

Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything Trek. I’m just using some of their
stuff for the satisfaction of my overactive imagination. No infringement
intended… However, the characters in this story are mine…
“Carl, promise me… Promise me you’ll go on…”

“Fuuko…”

“Carl, please… Promise me you’ll go on with your life… Be happy…”

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“Carl what are you doing?”

“I don’t want to go on, Fuuko… I’m tired and Dad just died…”

“Who died?”

“Dad?!? What? What are you doing here?”

“I’m with Fuuko now. Why are you sad, son? You should wake up.”

“Life’s not worth living anymore Dad.”

“What do you mean not worth? How about your Mom? Who’s going to take care of her? YOu’re still young, boy! Use it wisely! Find a woman and love her like I love your Mom and like how you love Fuuko…”

“Carl, I see that you will love someone else in your future. Please do that… For me and for your Father as well as for you and your Mother’s sake. Don’t dwell in the past… Live your life… Live it…”

“I… I… I… I will…”

***

Ensign Davon Luron, the resident Nurse at the Sentry, was reading her research on the Kusanagi Withdrawal Syndrome when Jarvis’s medical console beeped.

Luron approached the medical console and read the readouts.

“…What… What…” I managed to say, my voice all hoarse and dry.

“Carl!” Luron beamed. “You’re finally awake!”

Luron helped me sit up. “How.. How long have I been out?”

“About eight days.. Wait a second.” she said as she tapped her comm. badge. “Sickbay to Doctor Adams. Please report to Sickbay. Lt. Jarvis has awaken.”

“Acknowledged.”

“I’ve been reading about your illness, Carl and I…”

“I’d rather not talk about it…” I said groggily, cutting in before she further.

“I see.” was all she said as she fell silent and reached out for a hypospray at a nearby medical
tray. “This should take away the grogginess.”

I nodded, feeling a little guilty. “Look, Davon, I apologize. It’s just that this disease… I just want it to keep it within myself and the Doc.”

Luron smiled with understanding. “I know. I can feel what you feel remember?”

I nodded, I felt a sudden wave of shyness overcome me. I heard Davon giggle. I had to smile.

“Ah, Lieutenant! I’m glad you’ve returned to us…” Doctor Adams said as she entered Sickbay with Commander Romanov and Captain Vorak in tow.

“I’m pleased that you’ve come around, Lieutenant.” Captain Vorak said, as he neared my biobed, his Vulcan reserve in place.

“Thank you sir.”

“If you’re upto it, Mr. Jarvis, the Captain and I wish to talk to you… About your condition…” the Commander said as she spoke.

I swallowed hard. I looked at Davon. She nodded sympathetically at me. She knew how I felt about the disease.

“Captain, Commander, may I speak freely?”

Vorak looked at me in his own Vulcan “curiosity”. “Proceed, Lieutenant.”

“Sir, I prefer not to speak of the disease. It’s too personal for me to talk about.”

“How so? You seem to have omitted it from your Medical records at the Academy.”

“Actually Sir, it wasn’t omitted. It was considered classified, for my own CMO’s eyes only. I had to request it because if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be able to live a normal life the way I want to be. I don’t want to be some lab rat to be tested upon with because I have this disease. Many people have been ‘prisoners of research’ because of this disease, and I don’t plan to be one of them…” I pleaded, my gaze bouncing back and forth at the Captain and the First Officer. “Like any person, we all have secrets we intend to keep to ourselves. This is my secret. And with your permission, I intend to keep it that way. Besides, I don’t think this disease will rear its ugly head anytime soon. I’ve recovered from one before and I’ve recovered from one now. I’ve been through a lot since my days at the Academy… Please Captain, Commander, this is my life sir. Starfleet is my life… Let me live it…”

I cast a glance at Doctor Adams, Commander Romanov and finally at the Captain. There was silence among them and I prayed that the Captain would grant me what I hoped for.

“I see. Your request is granted.” Captain Vorak said. Turning to Doctor Adams, he asked, “When can he return to duty?”

“I need to keep him here for a couple more hours just to make sure he’s fully recovered. I’d say he can return to his duties tomorrow…”

“Noted. However, you’re still entitled for a bereavement leave…”

“Sir, I don’t need it. I’ve been grieving long enough. I need to get back to my post if I want to get my focus back… More idleness will give me more time to think of things I should be avoiding because of my disease. I need to get back at my post so that I can be useful and distracted from my personal flaws…”

After a while of pondering, Vorak nodded. “Very well. Report to me as soon as your have been release.”

“Aye sir.”

***

(jotting down his log on a PADD)

Lieutenant (j.g.) Carl Alexander Jarvis Log Stardate 52075.5

After several days “withdrawn” I feel emotionally drained. However, I must not make this a hindrance to my duties here in the SEntry. The Captain and Commander Romanov have been most patient with me and my sickness and I plan to prove them wrong that I am capable of my duties despite this problem. My last withdrawal has taught me a lot. I will not make the same mistake again. I think I can control this sickness. I know I can. It’s just a matter of NOT giving up.

End log.

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